From one human to another

I believe that I have been truly lucky throughout my life-time. Ever since I was a kid I have been surrounded by wonderful people. I have been blessed with an amazing family and group of friends who have supported me and shaped me to become the person I am today. I would like to dedicate this article to them and my beauitful fiancée who encapsulates the best of me.

It would be a herculean task to name them all but each one has had a really important influence on me. I wish to share what I have learnt from them, as well as things I have come to realise on my own along the way. I hope you enjoy it!

Find your tribe

It’s funny how perspective changes over time. At least, that’s what happened to me and you might have felt it too..

When I was in school I used to look up to teachers. I believed they had all the answers and I relied on them to show me “the way” both academically and beyond. While I still have huge admiration for them, I now see them in a different light which I think is more representative of reality. It’s a bit hard to admit that this same phenomenon occurred to me outside the classroom as well, since I carried with me the idea that someone, whoever it happened to be, had deeper insights about a subject or even more shockingly, myself.

While it’s true that there will always be people who know something that you dont and having the humility to listen to them will provide great returns, I have come to realise that there is a huge element of subjectivity in society. Even though this may seem obvious, it contradicts the aforementioned notion and has caused me internal turmoil and confusion at times.

Have you ever been given poor advice by a trusted source? Then maybe you know what i’m talking about. People have wildly different points of view on matters and status or self-proclaimed expertise may lead you to take their word for granted. The important thing to do here is to collect multiple opinions and from there form your own judgment on things. This will protect you against harmful and quite likely inaccurate evaluations of your skills and self-worth. It is paramount that you protect yourself from these types of situations as I’m sure you have unique talent in some way or another. In fact, I would argue that everybody does it’s just a matter of finding out what it is, and more substantially, being in the right place with the right people. In the words of my boss “culture trumps strategy” and I fully subscribe to this view. In order to succeed, and the meaning of that will vary depending on what you value, you will have to find your tribe which will be the place where you feel encouraged as opposed to restrained. As is the case with love, you will know when you find it because instead of having to force youself to behave a certain way, you’ll be naturally energised and comfortable to be yourself and speak your mind. From that moment on, magic will unveil itself before your eyes and you will enter a state of momentum that will take you wherever you want to go.

Don’t be stupid, save money

This advice might not be the sexiest, but it should be. Credit should go to my dad who is extremely hard working and is the kind of guy who will always have your back and pick you in times of need, especially when things get tough.

It’s interesting how there are different schools of thought and there still seems to be much debate around this subject. Perhaps debate is a bit of a stretch but people do act very differently when it comes to money and I am often surprised by this. Despite the fact that there are certain situations where risk is worth it, such as the purchase of a house or an investment, that does not justify wasting money. It’s so common for both low and high income families to spend every penny on unncessary luxuries and completely disregard their long-term financial well being.

Can you imagine what happens when you find yourself with empty pockets on a rainy day? Yep, that’s right, nothing good. At best you will have to borrow money from family members, friends or greedy financial institutions trying to profit from your poor decisions which will certainly backfire further down the line.

So yeah, don’t be stupid, save money. Have fun, enjoy but control yourself and you wont regret it.

Do what you love

This one isn’t new. I’m sure you’ve heard it before. In my case I learned this from my brother who has always had the audacity to follow his gut despite the consequences. I’m not necessarily pushing you to quit tomorrow if you dont love your job. I think everybody has to follow their own process. As Mark Manson, one of my favourite authors suggests, everybody has their own biorhythms. This means that you should live your life according to what feels right to you. Hence, you should do things and take steps in a manner that you feel comfortable with. Whether that is baby steps or giant ones, it’s up to you to take actions to find something you enjoy and if you do you will experience the same momentum I talked about earlier, provided that you find your tribe and can pay the bills at the end of the month.

Be selfless

I can’t help myself from thinking about my mother and mother-in-law when it comes to being generous. Of course, giving birth to another human being is one of, if not the most heartful acts known to man and it’s something only some women will ever experience. But that’s just the begining, I cannot even begin to describe the amount of sacrifice both my mum and dad have done for my benefit. They have given up their time and energy in exchange for their children’s happiness. And while I will forever be in their debt, being selfless is a gift not only for the person on the receiving end, but perhaps most of all for he/she who is giving up something for someone. I know this because on the occasions I have had the opportunity to give instead of receive, I have felt fulfilled and liberated from the chains of self-obsession, pushing me closer to enlightenment.

Next to me

“Oh, I always let you down, you’re shattered on the ground, But still I find you there, Next to me”.

In one of their most famous songs, Imagine Dragons express a sentiment that I cannot emphasize enough. My fiancée is a clear champion of this. She has stuck by my side in good and bad times and I will be forever grateful. If you are still in your formative years you might not have experienced what heartbreak feels like. I’ll give you a heads up, it will probably happen more than once and quite possibly under unexpected circumstances. As such, you may find yourself lost without a sense of direction. In those moments, I hope you find someone like her who will always be by your side.

“If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success”- Will Smith

I hope this piece will serve you as inspiration to relflect on your own path and share thoughts with others.